is a feeling i really avoid to feel.
It is like I am having everything i need but i kept feeling empty because of what others own.
And it is not worth it. The pain. The anger. And the weakness.
I am manage to avoid those feelings somehow. These latest years. I do it by focusing on to what i own. What i do. and my own wealthy.
Until I know this girl(or woman).
There she is, blabbing about her car, her maids(yep, she wrote it as plural), her wealth, her happiness, her religious preach. She wrote that everything she owns is just a lend(from God), and she wrotes details by details the thing that she (feels to) have.
Yeah Right. And how stupid, dumb and blinded I am. feeling envy of what she owns right know. This morning I really pray to God to help me erase this feeling and put back those positive and thankfull thoughts on my brain and my heart.
WHen I think further and see (in my mind), that her car is not even her parents’s car. But his husband’s car, oh correction, that is her husband’s car that been given by her husband’s parents. And her maids?? (MAYBE) those people were her relatives that helping doing housework in her home and not paid by herself. I surely knows that her (and her husband) salary will not afford her for having 3 maids(each for cooking, house cleaning and clothing wash&iron). So, technically, her wealth comes from her husband family(not only parents, i tell ya). Her religious preach, well, some people wants to be assumed as a religious one to be viewed as having completed life. I just hate if someone that bragging around her/his religious side but act like a big snob. Her happiness,..I’m happy if someone’s happy. EVERYONE DESERVE HAPPINESS. No hesitation.
So,..what the hell i’m envying about???
The fact that today i’m not feeling as happy as her?
But it makes me sick to see that she’s faking her luck. I mean, to act snob for the things she didnt earn. Its not only a loan from God, but those are also NOT YOURS FOR GOD SAKE. it comes from your husband’s family.
Maybe she deserve her luck.
But i still tought that NO ONE DESERVE BOASTING OF SOMETHING HE/SHE DID NOT EARN.
And now, here I am. Feeling peacefull. The envy is gone. No SNob deserve my envy 🙂
So,..if we are jealous of someone, focused on our self happiness. But if it doesnt work, just think about her/his bad attitude/habits. Focused on that and how you dont want to have his/her bad attitude. Would be so much better, you, having your own life and luck.
Its okay to do that to erase your envy, but make sure that you keep it to yourself,.. Unless. just like me, keep it anynomous. Because others worst were not for public.
Have a grateful life..!